hands down santana.. wohoow..

you can just lose yourself with these kind of songs.. :D

SantanaInto The Night ft Chad Kroeger

Music Videos And Lyrics On Demand

songs i currently love

i fell in love with this video! coming's santana's video.. :)

Wyclef JeanSweetest Girl ft Akon, Lil Wayne & Niia

Music Videos And Lyrics On Demand

amber back into you lyrics

this song. is bad. :( today, i accidentally saw.. you.. :( and oh boy, it hurt. hehe


Back Into You

Picking up the pieces of a broken memory
That's one I can't let go of that keeps me on my knees
Said I know it's not my fault that we couldnt stay together
But we said no matter what we'd still be friends forever

How could you turn & just go
When I'm here standing so cold
Now you wanna work it out
Tell me what's that all about
How could you go & move on
Like what you have for me is gone
Now you wanna work it out

Baby I'm tryin to find my way back into you
When I think about how you love me love me baby it's not easy
But I'm tryin to find my way back into you
When I think about you've moved on baby that's just so wrong

I never quit my love for you baby that's the truth
Too hard for me to move on when I feel this way for you
See you know sometimes we need a space baby that's ok
But if you really love me why'd you leave that way

Tell me how could you turn & just go
When I'm standing so cold
Now you wanna work it out
Tell me what's that all about
How could you go & move on
Like what you have for me is gone
Now you wanna work it out

Baby I'm tryin to find my way back into you
When I think about you love me love me baby it's not easy
But I'm tryin to find my way back into you
When I think about you've moved on baby that's just so wrong

Baby I'm tryin to find my way back into you
When I think about you love me love me baby it's not easy
But I'm tryin to find my way back into you
When I think about you've moved on baby that's just so wrong

Heaven knows every second I am waiting for you
I find it so hard, find it so hard
I'd do anything to find a strength to be with you
I want it like you do, want it like you do
I just need sometime to free my piece of mind
But before you go I want you to know

Baby I'm tryin to find my way back into you
When I think about you love me love me baby it's not easy
But I'm tryin to find my way back into you
When I think about you've moved on baby that's just so wrong

:(

if you think i'm fine, it just ain't true.... :(

when you're so down, someone has got to stand out, and tell you the fat truth. this why i love this guy so much.


Glenn Kevin: utility or center, what should you do? be flexible and rise to the occasion....... be strong to produce power and the will to carry the whole team on your back, act as a column where you support them in every thing they do. be that person that every body depends on. be sturdy so as not to fall in tough situations, be the one who cares when a team mate has fallen.. be the person who can take their place at an instant when they fail to recieve the ball. you should push yourself to the limit where no team mate has done, a bamboo isnt just a plant it also gives life to animals and lift up the spirits of your team mates

Glenn Kevin: a fraction of a second of judgement is important.. jump higher and land faster..... spike the ball like there's no tomorrow.....

Glenn Kevin: be the person they can depend on, think of your team with every block spike recieve or set..... lead them to your common goals

rain baby.. ;)

lines that struck me from the 3 doors down song. :) one for the rainy season. haha what i'm feeling right now? it's not hard to guess.

when the last one falls,
when it's all said and done..
It gets hard..
but it WILL NOT take away MY love.

ringing tone i love to hear

5:32 in the morning i get a message from flashie. :) but then my body woke up in time just to answer his call. he was supposed to go to my house at around 10 in the morning, but he came a "bit" earlier than expected. HAHA he came at 6 in the morning, and he said hello to the sleepy heads right here. we decided to walk and go to jollibee to buy breakfast but boo jabee, it was still closed! we had to go for the 7 eleven "specials". bought pandesal and siopao and went back home. :) we were watching tv, and i fell asleep. when i woke up, he was still watching tv! he's such an early bird. while i was taking a bath, my mom kept on talking about volleyball issues. they share the same sentiment by the way so wow i got to hear it from two of the most sungit people i know.. HAHAHA

we were burning the road at 1030 am since we had to buy rice for his family. :) oh yes, parañaque to quezon city in 40 minutes i think. HAHA we bought japanese corn, but then i didn't want to eat one since they all know how to eat a corn perfectly, no excess. haha but i'm glad i achieved something! cause i managed to do the clean corn eating act after a while! :D hoooray! we watched goal 2 (really good film for those football addicts and beckham fans :P). he fell asleep, and he had no idea i was staring at him for a long time. HAHA hmmm since i wasn't doing anything, i tried looking at his phone templates since the saved messages came from me. i just wanted to look at how cheezy i was. HAHA then brilliant phone since the joystick was kinda broken got me reading a message in the inbox. well it's a pretty bad message so to make the long story short, i was crying. i woke him up, and told him if i could have his car keys and get my things. oh yes the drama. but that was ow bad i felt. but at least it was all cleared up when we talked. grabe, low-level and indecent people really exist in this world. :(

at 4 pm, we went to eastwood and sadly, the 510 transformers were full already soooo we had to watch at 8pm. but that wasn't really a problem since we love spending time together. :P we shared a cinnamon roll at starbucks and a free cup of milk. how's that? :) we went window shopping, and he found this really nice jacket! waaah! that's my dilemma right now, an anniversary gift! but i cannot panic. i will find a perfect anniv gift! AJA! he was so in the zone with transformers! who wouldn't be? it was so cool. i mean it tried to come as close to reality by using familiar cars not like too futuristic and out of this world models. all i can say is chevrolet made the right choice! i bet their car sales will go up thanks to transformers. :)

after the movie, it was time to drive back home. glenn talaga, he didn't want to use our bathroom cause he was shy! can you believe that? HAHA:D he used the clubhouse's comfort room and then we sat at the comfy couch just talking even if he was half asleep. i kept on reminding him to get his school id from the guard but wow, i ended up forgetting to get my wallet. so much for reminders. haha:D 6am to 12am the following day. we started july 7, 2007 together we ended it together. :) even though i cried a lot this day, literally this is my record for most crying moments. haha well those were happy ones anyway!haha:D there were things i learned and have confirmed. :D the instinct of a woman's so unquestionable. haha

luxury of time

sometimes, i really wonder why i can't get the luxury of time at the palm of my hands unlike other people. i've asked that a long time ago when i found myself being so busy and alone even if i could have taken a time off. like this thursday night, we were all supposed to meet a deadline. if there's one thing i dislike, it's missing or even just being delayed when it comes to deadlines. sooo what usually happens? i don't get to sleep. might i add that yesterday we waited for my mom's doctor for hours when we were supposed to be home by 730. her clinic hours are from 3 to 7pm, but she usually comes at 630pm. talk about being prompt. i wonder what could be the reason for such delay? we got home around 1030 to 11 all thanks to the traffic caused by the road construction. and so i do my articles. i finish them, but oh wow, it was already early morning friday when i got to finish it. i come to school only to find out that they can upload their articles over the weekend. i'm not complaining at all about them. i don't mind at all since the deadline's still on monday, but i want to know why i can never stop myself from doing a task that others take a time out on while i still insist on doing it. haaay, i wanna know why.

to start the day right

yes. that is my agenda. all the questions on my mind have been answered! whoo! thank you! now i have so much energy to jump rope, interview the barangay officials in merville, commute to school, parade for the pep rally, watch flashie model, and watch the GK movie! sooo many things but now i feel like i can breeze through them! :D

if my brain was big enough

yeah, if it was, i would love to just let my mind think of the so many things that i've been thinking about. it makes me stare at the ceiling at night, and then make me wake-up before the cock crows. i'm going through a lot right now, and i would have easily snapped if not for kaye. i needed a girl to understand what has been stuck in my head. and there she was. please pray that i get through this phase positively.

tonight i have decided

our team went through a lot of emotional struggles for this v-league. i guess, it's partly because we're not that bonded. it's true. we have our own groups per batch, and we don't really say ALL that we want to say like everything we rant about. we don't even praise one another because we get all "Shy". i'm looking forward to this year's uaap. we'll step up especially our batch that's a promise. whatever it takes to help the team become stronger, we'll do it. plus, the fact that we sort of have challengers right now's giving me the adrenaline rush! we'll work hard in training, in class, and in whatever! name it, we will excel. i trust my teammates, my friends, and of course, i have gotten the courage to trust myself. flashie's sleeping already because he came from an overnight activity which i envy much! he fed piglets and planted rice! HUWOW! and then he got to see a pawikan, it's a marine turtle. :) he will tell me more stories tomorrow. one thing, he's just so happy he's classmates with people from his batch. i know what he feels. :) they're the people from the same age bracket meaning most probably, same taste and preference. :) i'm glad he had fun judging from the way he told me that they shared HS memories together. :) if you can read korean, here's rain's i'm coming from www.aheeyah.com http://aheeyah.com/--- it's a great great site! :) so you need the translation? ;) just go to this page then!


02. I`m Coming. (Feat. Tablo)

1.아직도 나를 움직이는 힘은
아직도 나 배고파하는 그 이유는
나의 마음속 깊이 자리잡은 두려움이야
쓰러질 때마다 내게 들려오는 목소리

아직은 쉴 때가 아냐 힘들었던 땔 잊지마
지쳐있는 나의 몸을 다시 깨우는 소리
니가 원하던 거잖아 니가 한 약속 잊지마
거칠어진 호흡을 다시 한 번 가다듬고 간다


Rain is coming down through the roof top
또 비가 내린다 모든걸 적신다
Rain is coming down and it won’t stop
너무나 뜨겁다 멈추질 않는다


2.Let me tell you the story
멈출 것같던 내 심장은 아직도 또 뛰고 있고
풀렸던 내 다리와 지친 어깨가 다시 살아나
Once again standing tall
Everybody get ready tonight.
Me and my boys on a ride,
Smelling feeling so right.
You know how we do it.
Must get it together tonight with my moves real tight.
Make sure I come with the best of the best of the best come on.

Rain is coming down through the roof top
또 비가 내린다 모든걸 적신다
Rain is coming down and it won’t stop
너무나 뜨겁다 멈추질 않는다


Tablo, go go, let's go!
볼륨을 높이고 거친 폭풍의 눈초리로
Rain~ 세계적인 소리로
seoul city, beijing to Tokyo (ho!)
세상이 다 손을 위로
비 비 비로 마른 땅에 꽃 피고
say ho! (ho!) It's VIP
supreme T, and 비, and JYP


here's the translation. :)

firsts on mondays

no matter how many times i try to hide from coach whenever i cannot attend practice because i have class, we just end up seeing each other! i really want to laugh at this wicked fate of mine, but hell, our coach doesn't smile. hehe and so i went to class. prinpro's really interesting i might say and sir gary sure does know a lot of stuff, but sometimes, there's information overload already. so you guys know what happens 'cause of that right? headache. sleep. that's the last thing i want to do really even though a lot of people would throw stones at me for saying this because i sleep a lot ever since i was in high school. it's not really my fault, and so for the information of my colllege friends, i'm anemic that's why i fall asleep in class. when this happens, it means i need to drink my medicine again. sadly, it may make me look really silly whenever i just lean on something and just sleep, but hey it's not my fault. so people way back in 3rd year, it's not my fault sister mikee counted me as one of the 37 students listening. sorry manecs! han! mae! HAHA

and then power failure during prinpro, so our class was dismissed an hour and 10 minutes earlier. decided to go up the next floor since our prof asked us to stay within the area of the lab just in case power returns. it was funny because i couldn't see flashie's face through the small glass window cause of the glare. huwow as in i was blinded. i look up and i saw someone i knew all my life (actually, i'm a year older than this person) but then i realize that with the silly thing he/she did, i don't think he/she was the person i knew. it's so sad really. we drifted apart, and i'm not going to make the first move to converse with you because what you did was lifewrecking except that i'm too strong and thanks to my family and friends, i just shrugged that off. we can never bring back old times, not anytime soon.

after spending 30 minutes with my friends, i went on my way to greenbelt. i must say the lrt ride was bearable, but the line for the mrt ticket was exhausting. i was all sweaty, but i just kept my cool since i was having my haircut anyway. i had a bob when i was kinder and always had long hair ever since until today. well, haha sorry to disappoint people, it is still long except that i have bangs now. well i call them subtle bangs cause they don't really look like bangs. :) i just wanted to see what i would like for a change. i like it, and (cross fingers) people would like it. haha:D

insomnia attack

i really didn't have a good day except that i got a good grade for one of my classes. after that, everything just seemed so gloomy. i felt really sad and alone. it was so frustrating because i wasn't my usual self- happy, laughing and smiling. and now, i'm up staying up because i'll have nightmares for sure. (it happens everytime i'm sad or depressed) remember about the girl i was talking about? i thought it was all over, but come on, i found out a hella ridiculous story of the issue. it was really twisted and i just became really disappointed with her just when i thought we would be ok in the near future. apparently, we won't be friends again anytime soon. damn i couldn't stop cursing because. it's just. crazy. good thing the people i talked to had brilliant mental capacities to understand the WHOLE story. i just cleared his name since for sure, people are thinking he's sooo bad. in the first place, it's not my personality to think of what other people say. i don't have to please them, and the truth is, really, i don't even try. damn. i just don't like the idea of people having to misjudge him. it simply ticks me off when people close to my heart are attacked of course verbally, cause physically, HUWOW better back off. i'm a force to reckon with when it comes to them. i was planning on confronting her, but after reevaluating the situation, i decided that i won't go down to her level. she's not worth my time.

but seriously, i'm praying for her still that she won't do it again to other people. actually for the sake of other people like her, i hope they won't ruin people's lives because of their selfish and malicious acts. i believe in karma, but i still don't want it to hit hard on them. i know for a fact that people can be really good. it's just that tiny occupant called bitchiness comes out like a alcohol-sprayed flame- so swift and damaging. there's no way to turn back time, so i hope they revel on the things they have been doing. people say you can forgive but never forget. i don't want this to be really applicable to me because damn i just love the people i meet that i consider them all as friends. if they do me wrong, i am willing to forgive but now that i'm older, it depends on the gravity of the matter. the really sad part? i want to forget, but i have a sharp detailed-oriented memory. i want to forget all the pain that has been caused not only to me but also to the person who hurt me cause i know for a fact that people who hurt others get pricked by a thorn even though blood doesn't flow profusely like the ones who have been hurt. i don't want to be amnesiac naman kasi fond memories overpower the bad ones. i've just been enlightened. :) ergo, i've realized to control my memory if there's such a thing. :) buuut for the sake of forgiving, i can rekindle friendships again, but time has to help me.

after finishing fifth place in the eliminations, we're on a roll for the semi-finals. Thank you Lord for helping and guiding us throughout all our games. i believe in my team, and i knew very well that we could all recover from the brutal damages of losing. it's part of growing as a team and becoming ONE team. we've finally been reintroduced to ourselves who have constantly helped each other and guessed what each girl would say or do. i love my teammates. :) so many things have happened, and it wouldn't be the same if it weren't for them especially my boinks. :) we'll be up against ateneo on sunday, and we all want a good fight. we sure will give out a good fight in the name of victory and hardship. haha:)

calendar blues

i remember him complaining about my calendar entries in my phone. he was wondering why i don't mark our monthsary. haha of course i don't need to. it's all in here <3 but lately, i have found the calendar of good use . i have missed him so much these past few weeks since we barely see each other. sooo here's a rundown of the calendar entries i have so far.

april 16,2007
"My flashie SO HAPPY he got his katana cage already! Yey! :)"

--- He was so happy he got a new pair of shoes already. :) I'm sooo happy to see his face light up because of it. Not a lot of people know, but this guy, he's so selfless. There was never a time when we went out to go malling or just window shopping that he would think of buying stuffs for himself. It has always been "Charles would like this." "Bagay kaya sa kanya ito?" He thinks of his brothers first. That's why I can't help but be angered by the people who think they know this guy so much. If they think he's selfish, then they don't know him at all. I can't help but smile by the way he has put his family first above all his priorities. Actually, not a long time ago, he was kind of not like this. hehe As Kaye would put it, the things that have been happening are "blessings in disguise" because he became mature already. You know, fit for his age. Fit for a man like him. Some people ask me if I'm saddened by the fact that he forgets important things about the two of us, or if I get jealous of the things he thinks about. I won't be a hypocrite and say that it was okay, but that was at first. As I get to know him, I realize the things he wants in life. I understand him. I love him even if he's an amnesiac. haha For the second question, I don't need to be the center of his world. I know my place. :) I'd rather be right beside helping him through it all than be the only thing that matters to him. I think it's too childish to wish that I only have his attention. That's crazy. And as I watch him from afar, I smile because I know he's making his life worth while. I don't need to be his princess. I want to be his friend that he can always count on. Nothing else matters to me than seeing him fulfilled because he's making his dreams come true and I know it's all for the betterment of his family and own personal choices. :)

april 17, 2007
"cute sweet talk at the raya club house steps. :)"
--- this was one of the days that i terribly missed him. haha to my surprise, he calls me up to say that he's on his way to my house already. :) that just made my day! to find out that he asked law that law stayed at ate carla's place longer meant so much to me. i'm a sucker for his cute sweet deeds. haha that just meant he wanted to be with me for a longer time, and so did i. it was funny cause we sat at the cemented steps of the club house. hugged like we didn't see each other for months, but oh well i just love it! :D we talked and talked. we were like kids. haha being the amnesiac that he is (sorry flashie), everything that he does for me means the world to me. he rarely does something special, but when he does, they all become unforgettable. i love the fact that he's oozing with spontaneity. some are just short but wow. :) they're too cute or just sooo funny. haha


may 1, 2007
"phone call from flashie.. i miss him.. :("

---we were supposed to be together by early morning, but for some reason, mom doesn't allow me. it was a really bad day for me. i mean, it's summer, and it's break. this is the only time that we could always be together. i have actually anticipated that we would be together most of the time since i just had a hell of a term in the past three months. now that hell term's over. i want to spend time with him and my friends, but now, i'm restricted to only a few days. darn. i was supposed to go out with him in the afternoon na lang, but then he said we can't cause it was labor day and it was dangerous outside. oh wow. so i was stuck at home feeling so exhausted because of my parents' hot heads. i love the night cause i got to talk to him for like 11 minutes. he never fails to make me smile even when i'm soo stressed out.

may 3, 2007
"this can probably pass as one of the most unforgettable days.. :D waw i just love it!"

---this is far by the best day in the past 2 weeks. :) we were together from 9am to 1120 eating mcdonald's and just hugging and weeee.. haha i can recall that he talked about a childhood memory. :) h was talking about an earthquake that happened when he was little in their old house that they rented. hah! i still remember the details.. haha:D when he was relating the story, i couldn't help but stare at him. he looked so adorable like a kid! HAHA it was funny. :D after training, we watched spiderman 3 but to fill our empty stomachs, we ate pepperoni pizza and a very laaamig mango shake with banana and peach i think! sarap super.. :D then watched the movie at 545pm. i can remember we were both in shock as in shocked talaga because of spidey and the police's daughter's kiss. as in we were like "oh my gosh. oh no! that was their kiss!" waaaah! HAHA picture moment super. and he kept on teasing me because i got teary-eyed. i didn't cry i swear, but oh well, he was laughing his heart out and it was worth the tease. :) aaand then we went somewhere in taft and weeeee.. hahaha:D

may 6, 2007
" soo into missing him right now and suddenly, i see his name on a jollibee cashier girl here in zambales. 211pm"
--- we had our team building for three days and two nights. i have to say, even if it sounds bad, revenge was sweet.. HAHAHA sorry rookies. :D buuut i hated one particular instance, he called me telling me about our deal. i wasn't supposed to drink, but if it were really up to me, i wouldn't drink. i was dead drunk seriously. i couldn't walk properly nor stand up. you couldn't blame me since i was the first person one among the rookies and sophies to drink since i was nearest to the seniors. so making the whole story short, i got pretty annoyed by the fact that someone told flashie that i was drunk that night. it sounded like i indulged myself with alcohol, but that wasn't the case. i know there was a hint of disappointment when he called me although he says that it's ok and he wasn't mad. i hate the fact that the report made me look like i broke my promise when i didn't. i hate breaking my promises especially to people close to me. sooo anyway, may 6, everybody noticed my poker face at lunch. and they were like "hindi bagay sayo. nakakainis na you look that way". it's because of the miss seriously. i miss him. :( and i haven't had a decent talk with him in three days. and then when i decided to buy yum burger for baon (hihihi), i looked around and funny, i fixed my eyes last on the cashier girl and her name was glenn. stupid. cheesy. but that just brightened my day. God knows exactly how to make me smile. :) and then we had the "chase experience". it was cute cause we were describing where we were, and it was so exciting cause i knew he was so near na. :) and our rendezvous was the best. :)

i'll write the next entry in my next post because this has become far too long. haha:)

hot head

i wonder why.. she's literally fuming over me.. everything that's related to me she criticizes and gets easily annoyed with. it's rather frustrating since i come home really tired from training. stress it is. argh. and she doesn't understand that i need a break at least a day off from the 5-day nonstop training. i've reached the point when i got burnt out already. from everything. it took away all my energy, my aura and i was scared that it would suck the life off me. i'm old already. well compared to the careless kid that i was before who just enjoyed having fun and playing with other kids LIKE ANY NORMAL KID, i've grown up now. i am older now. can someone please reiterate that again for me? cause you're doing me a lot of favor if you do that. haha i'm just so annoyed today. i haven't updated this for quite some time because i got so easily tired of all the things i hear at home. it's stressful. and haven't i mentioned frustrating? wow. i pray for better days.

nuhaegae..

stupid me! haha i didn't greet him on our 9th month right when i set my eyes on him. that was a first! oh well, i was hurrying since i didn't want them to be late for the competition. i cheered, took pictures and got burnt. haha

this was taken on july 14,2006 around 6 pm. lawrence's birthday and a few hours after that, (if you call that few) ayun na, we're a couple na. :) i'm posting this now that he's actually mad at me since i've been acting differently daw today, and i didn't tell him why i'm acting this way.

this is my way of telling him how i'm feeling right now. ^_____^

glenn, :) we've been really really great friends from the start and i consider you one of the closest besides that you own my heart right now. especially now. at this very moment. :) a lot of people's thoughts have tried corrupting my mind. it gets frustrating. hehe you know me. sadly, i know i scare you 'cause before i'm a future thinker. yep, before, i was. hehe hmmm was a little bit sad when i found out your reaction for my past wallpaper. that little thing got stuck in my mind even though it was months ago. haha i'm an idealist. and i honestly hate listening to people saying "ayoko magsalita ng tapos" and "Don't say forever." it destroys everything i've believed in, and hoped for. but with you, i realized that every person has really their own piece of mind. i know you think that way, and i don't want to scare you any further that's why i changed the wallpaper. haha:)

but writing this entry, made me realize that i can never be brainwashed. this is my way of loving. this is my way of loving you. i can't force myself to think like other people realistically as they would say. cause all i know is right now. at this very moment. I AM IN LOVE. I'M LOVING. NAGMAMAHAL AKO and it's VERY REAL TO ME. i've learned so many things from you flashie, and i've learned to control myself and think about what you think. hehe i respect that. i've accepted that a long time ago. and like what i told you before, :) i only want you happy. :) it's not cliche. i don't believe in that shit that it's cliche cause kaye knows how i exactly feel for you a long time ago but i didn't tell you. i could hold back my feelings just to see you happy. if we weren't together, i'd still be happy with you smiling for another woman. at least i get to still see you smile right?

BUT-

i don't know how God made it all possible, but i thank Him. cause here we are, we're together and happy. i just couldn't tell you through yahoo messenger or plain text message. it wouldn't give justice to what i'm feeling right now. i'm glad i met you. i'm glad our paths cross and even though you don't believe in fate, destiny, future and forever (the things i fervently believe in) those fairy tale endings, i'm happy i am with you. no one can put into words how i am feeling right now. maybe our opposite thoughts are just the reason why we're bound together now. you say the present, the here, the now is important. i so definitely agree with that only bearing two things in my mind- to make you happy and the other one is i'm still thinking of how to say it. haha :)


I LOVE YOU FLASHIE. :) EVERY SECOND IS WORTH HAVING YOU. AND I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE RIGHT NOW- BESIDE YOU GIVING A RIB CRUSHING HUG. :)

can't just have it all..

it's good that i don't curse as much as before. for some reason, after the holy week, my mouth just had stop spilling profanity at its best. my friends say it must be because the term just ended. it actually just ended today. three months of no decent sleep is no joke. i've completely shown a different side of me because of it. i became very impatient, got easily irritated and cried until my eyes feel like popping out. school stress, seriously. sometimes in training, i'm obviously not concentrated and i end up making mistakes. seniors ask me what's wrong and i just say majors and they get me. after all, this is what university is all about . so why don't you get the most out of it. why be mediocre, right?

the bad thing that i'm currently observing is i've been "bad" to some people. i wasn't like that before. i would just let them be even if they try meddling with my own affairs. *sigh* i want this new part of me erased, and i'll do everything to control this. cause really, i feel this isn't me. i can't be bad to people. the thought of it just makes me sad.

and one thing? i hate my throat right now. it's the electric fan that i always put up, but for some reason i find it directly at me when i wake up. it dries my throat, and i easily got exhausted kanina 'cause of that. and just when i'm supposed to help flashie with his paper, i fell asleep. damn. we talked about how he was going to write it, but i was supposed to edit it, but then i fell asleep. what the? that's so sad. :( i feel like i failed him in some way, and i hate that. i just know that if i can help people close to me, i would. definitely. i would go the extra mile for them seriously.

tomorrow at 6am, flashie's going to pick me up. (hopefully, if he doesn't forget. haha) i'm going to watch him and the other tracksters at the international meet in brent. wish them luck!! :D he wants to beat his old time for 100m which is 11.3.. he feels pressured to break it. i believe in him. :) he's been pretty down these couple of days because he says he's been underachieving in training. i told him, "after finals, you're gonna kick some ass." i know he will be able to step up. :) SO PROUD OF YOU CO CAPTAIN! don't get stressed. don't think about it too much. YOU CAN DO IT! FIGHTING!

got this from kaye.. :D

"you know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

--- just perfect for those hopeless romantics out there.. :) idealists.. and the people who just love to love.. :) people who love. like me. :)

300, the karma and misadventure

i had a very "normal" day to start with. woke up (well, i didn't have a decent sleep AGAIN cause my brother was snoring the whole time) at 6am since my parents offered to bring me to school. sooo i arrived at the sports complex to meet my flashie. hehe:) very happy to see him, and the elation it gave me could not be explained. :) haven't seen him for almost a week, so there. :) jogged for a few minutes and was forced to lift weights. haha after that, i kept on talking about the men of 300 (yes, i suck big time since i haven't seen it yet) cause they look really different than the roles they portrayed. lucky me, flashie brought his laptop and we decided to watch 300 with his other teammates. hooray! :)

i was quite familiar with the lines from the movie since a lot of people talk about it. i find the "Awhoo!" very amusing since i didn't expect spartans to still be imitating animal sounds, but nevertheless, it was a great movie for me. the shot where young leonidas was framed by the earthen walls was fantastic, and i can vividly recall the shot where the shadow of the wolf was illuminating on the wall with young leonidas aiming at the wolf. the dance of the oracle was very ghastly. it brought a very eerie yet seductive feeling. it was fantastic i must say. :) for a short film like 300, it was able to capture so many visual images and be perfectly delivered on screen.

at exactly 10am, the movie ended and i got a message from the editor which means i had to leave. yeah, and so i thought i had only spent 2 hours with flashie, but he was still in school by noon and he went to where i was. :) yey! so more time to spend togetherrr.. :D (i sound like a kid. darn it.)

this is where the karma begins. hehe we chanced upon some of our friends and his classmates at a pizza parlor. we realized that we saw one not even looking at us. finally the evil in me showed up, "guilty?" with a big smile or i must say, a smirk on my face appeared. it's a long story to tell, but a friend just did something unexpectedly and so i got really disappointed. i was half jokingly saying that we should eat there, but then, now as i am writing this entry, i thank flashie for controlling me. seriously.

we, i mean, i ate at z2, and after a while, we decided to go to the sports complex to meet glenn's future teammate, raymond. when i was about to scan my id, poof, where was my id again? and where was my wallet again? wow. it was just then that i realized that i left it at z2. talk about karma! cha, my dearest boinker helped me since i couldn't go inside school. glenn was convincing me to go home already after some time, but i just couldn't. not without my wallet. thank God. cha sent me a message saying that it was at the lost and found section. i got there and found my wallet. :) yey. :) thank you yvette dionisio for leaving it with the lost and found. :)

where was the karma part? i've never been evil to anyone. hehe it was the first time i decided to get back at someone subtly for disappointing me, and i forget one of the most important things in my bag. it was a wake-up call saying, "this isn't you. you're not supposed to act this way." i guess it was just God's way of saying that if others hurt you, you don't have to reciprocate the pain they have caused you. i've realized that i can't just be bad to people, seriously. i get a really heavy heart whenever i feel like i've hurt anyone. it just isn't ME to hurt anyone. haay. :)

on my way home, one way or the other, i knew that it was bound to happen. like before, the first time i commuted was a disaster. i didn't know where i was anymore and i had to walk all the way back to robinson's place manila because that was the only place i was familiar with. now, thank goodness i just walked along edsa which was quite long since i rode the wrong jeepney. haha:) walked a bit more and found the right jeepney, and there i just got home. :)

waiting for an hour to pass by so i can have a nice relaxing hot bath. :)

living it up

just a few more days, and it's "break" already.. i've got lots of paper due this week, and my autobiography video's due on the 13th. i'm not one to complain. i think just mere fact that i won't be having any school work for at least 3 weeks, is already break for me. :) break for some people would be the beach. i know, i kinda envy them, and i still wish i could soak myself and get darker yet AGAIN until i'm unrecognizable. haha i love my break seriously. i get to face my ultimate nemesis. the alterego. VOLLEYBALL. this is my time to step up since we'll be having a league come may. (well that's if i get lined up)

being an athlete is not a bed of roses. a totally cliche term for a perfectly realistic state of being. that's why i despise people who think athletes are jocks, and don't have anything between the ears. get my drift? it's not easy to think of plays and other things to dupe your opponents. it takes a large amount of WIT and INTELLIGENCE to do that. i'm glad i'm able to express this thought right now because i really want other people to respect athletes. consider this. an athlete wakes up early in the morning EVERYDAY to train and then go to class until late in the afternoon or evening. some teams have their trainings in the evening, so their classes are scheduled in the morning until afternoon. after a day's worth of physical and mental exhaustion. an athlete never gives up and looks forward to the next day's challenge. now would you call that dumb? i don't think so.

there are a handful that sadly, do not care about their academics but that's not the whole athletic community's problem since they have their own CHOICE. if they realize that they've taken the wrong path, we will all gladly take them back. that's how it is. we help each other. :)

bottomline is, i CHOSE to be a student athlete. no one can decide for me, and no one has the right to judge me when it comes to these things. nobody can claim that we're just wasting our time, and that we're not thinking about our future. let's just say, i'll smack that person with a TIME, STRESS AND PROIRITIES MANAGEMENT 101 if he happens to be a smart aleck. i've never been deprived of breaks even if i have crazy days to battle. i think it's a matter of discipline and knowing what you really want to do that matters. PASSION is definitely everything. zeal with each breath? i wonder if anything could stop you. :)

this is for all the athletes who have been unfairly judged by people who don't break their bones, scar their knees, bruise their arms and legs, lose a tooth, sprain their ankles and feel at a loss at the discovery of their achilles' heel. :)