insomnia attack

i really didn't have a good day except that i got a good grade for one of my classes. after that, everything just seemed so gloomy. i felt really sad and alone. it was so frustrating because i wasn't my usual self- happy, laughing and smiling. and now, i'm up staying up because i'll have nightmares for sure. (it happens everytime i'm sad or depressed) remember about the girl i was talking about? i thought it was all over, but come on, i found out a hella ridiculous story of the issue. it was really twisted and i just became really disappointed with her just when i thought we would be ok in the near future. apparently, we won't be friends again anytime soon. damn i couldn't stop cursing because. it's just. crazy. good thing the people i talked to had brilliant mental capacities to understand the WHOLE story. i just cleared his name since for sure, people are thinking he's sooo bad. in the first place, it's not my personality to think of what other people say. i don't have to please them, and the truth is, really, i don't even try. damn. i just don't like the idea of people having to misjudge him. it simply ticks me off when people close to my heart are attacked of course verbally, cause physically, HUWOW better back off. i'm a force to reckon with when it comes to them. i was planning on confronting her, but after reevaluating the situation, i decided that i won't go down to her level. she's not worth my time.

but seriously, i'm praying for her still that she won't do it again to other people. actually for the sake of other people like her, i hope they won't ruin people's lives because of their selfish and malicious acts. i believe in karma, but i still don't want it to hit hard on them. i know for a fact that people can be really good. it's just that tiny occupant called bitchiness comes out like a alcohol-sprayed flame- so swift and damaging. there's no way to turn back time, so i hope they revel on the things they have been doing. people say you can forgive but never forget. i don't want this to be really applicable to me because damn i just love the people i meet that i consider them all as friends. if they do me wrong, i am willing to forgive but now that i'm older, it depends on the gravity of the matter. the really sad part? i want to forget, but i have a sharp detailed-oriented memory. i want to forget all the pain that has been caused not only to me but also to the person who hurt me cause i know for a fact that people who hurt others get pricked by a thorn even though blood doesn't flow profusely like the ones who have been hurt. i don't want to be amnesiac naman kasi fond memories overpower the bad ones. i've just been enlightened. :) ergo, i've realized to control my memory if there's such a thing. :) buuut for the sake of forgiving, i can rekindle friendships again, but time has to help me.

after finishing fifth place in the eliminations, we're on a roll for the semi-finals. Thank you Lord for helping and guiding us throughout all our games. i believe in my team, and i knew very well that we could all recover from the brutal damages of losing. it's part of growing as a team and becoming ONE team. we've finally been reintroduced to ourselves who have constantly helped each other and guessed what each girl would say or do. i love my teammates. :) so many things have happened, and it wouldn't be the same if it weren't for them especially my boinks. :) we'll be up against ateneo on sunday, and we all want a good fight. we sure will give out a good fight in the name of victory and hardship. haha:)